I stop drawing for a few days and I'm immediately back in my "I AM A TERRIBLE EXCUSE FOR AN ARTIST, WHY DO I EVEN BOTHER?" mood.

Pfffttt...I need to start up again.

Billy & Mandy movie was on today. I watched parts of it while I was sorting stuff for garage sale...Goodtimes. I miss my Billy and Mandy and Junior. :<


Love and peace,
Aemilius

I find it really weird that in every kind of fandom there are vast polar splits.

I love animation. I've loved it since I was a child. I came to love anime when I got older, but I still love most other kinds of animation.

And yet there are those out there who are hardcore "ANIME IZ AMAZING AND AMERICAN CARTOONS SUCK" and then you have those who are hardcore "ANIME IZ FOR NERDS, AMERICAN CARTOONS FOREVER."

And to be honest, I don't get it. :| You don't have to like both, certainly not. But why is it that a lot of anime fans spit in the face of any animation that came from anywhere other than Japan and a lot of cartoon fans spit in the face of anime? I love doing American cosplay at cons, but every now and again I do run into that person (or people) who makes it abundantly clear that they think I'm infringing on their ability to enjoy the con or something because I'm cosplaying from an animated title that didn't come from Japan.

I don't get it, I really don't. x.x;; I can see you liking one and not liking the other. But I don't get the liking one and VIOLENTLY HATING the other. Animation is a wonderful thing. :< Appreciate it before it's gone.


Love and peace,
Aemilius

I generally don't like listening to soundtracks without having seen movies. For one, it's somewhat of a spoiler because you get an idea of the mood of the movie and (provided the tracks are in order) of where the ups and downs are. Also, from past experience, I have learned that listening to a soundtrack a LOT before seeing a movie causes me to spend the entire movie going "this here music is fermiliar! :D" and I miss a lot of the movie because I'm fixated on the music. x.x; Still, I don't mind giving an OST a run-through or two before seeing the movie. I did it with 'Wall-E' and that went fine.

So, anyhow. Noah offered me a copy of the Star Trek soundtrack because of our mutual love of composer Michael Giacchino.

Star Trek is actually a lot different from the Giacchino I've become accustomed to. More akin to Medal of Honor, it's more of a dramatic, powerful score--I'm sure, in fitting with the movie. It reminds me much more of Medal of Honor than of the Giacchino scores I'm used to listening to: The Incredibles and Speed Racer. Not that there's anything wrong with that--because Medal of Honor is probably Giacchino's masterpiece, but I think I've just gotten used to the kind of energy that's in those other soundtracks.

It's also hard to judge a soundtrack by just listening to it while I'm working on the computer and not really fully engaging in it. Seeing the movie is really the best way to get feel for a soundtrack. So, for now, I have to withhold any real judgment. But at this moment, Star Trek came across as very Medal of Honor-esque: beautiful, but without any real grabbing, dramatic tracks, for me, anyway, as someone who hasn't seen the film.

I'll need to see the film and listen again. With Wall-E, that really changed my initial ideas about the score.


Love and peace,
Aemilius

I stumbled across something today. It was a drawing, old and a bit dusty, but laminated so that it was safe beneath its plastic sheath.

I felt Nihon's heart stir inside of me. I felt him cry inside of me.

Reality is such a cruel joke.


Love and peace,
Aemilius

Stole it from Noah. I was raised on television, I'm pretty much still an addict.

Running shows
Monk -- all
Psych -- all
Burn Notice -- all
Reaper -- all but the last few eps of this past season
Mythbusters -- all but this past season, missed cuz I was at school
Dirty Jobs -- most
Chowder -- all
Flapjack -- I'm actually ahead of the game because of the On Demand episodes...
Castle -- some; dropped

Finished shows
(Not including, like, childhood cartoons and all the old TV shows I watch, haha.)
Firefly -- all
Avatar: TLA -- all
Pushing Daisies -- almost :<
Everybody Loves Raymond -- all
Malcolm in the Middle -- all
Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends -- probably first half


I was gonna add anime, but there's too many.

I watch too much TV.


Love and peace,
Aemilius

Would anyone be interested in buying or trading for a $15 Starbucks giftcard? I got one as a gift and I don't drink coffee and, therefore, never visit Starbucks.

Just leave a comment if you're interested, thanks. <3


Love and peace,
Aemilius

Every now and again, you stumble upon something in a thrift store that is so amazing...so absolutely epic...that you absolutely must purchase it.

I have a feeling Lindsey and Natalie will enjoy this one.



It's a porcelain dish. :| I must display it in a place of honor.


Love and peace,
Aemilius

If there is one person or more on your friends list who makes your world a better place just because they exist and who you would not have met (in real life or not) without the internet, then post this same sentence in your journal.


Love and peace,
Aemilius

My layout header says "May"...I'm too lazy to change it tho.

Maybe someday.


Love and peace,
Aemilius

Ever since I fell in love with "Seussical" my senior year of high school, I have been in love with the story of "Horton Hears a Who". More than anything, I love the ending. The desperate attempt of an entire world to make itself heard to save itself from destruction: "We are here, we are here!" Whether it's the ending of "Seussical" or the ending of the movie or the ending of the book, I love that part...

I have to get philosophical, of course, because I'm me and that's what I do. But I think I love the end of that story because it's something I relate to. Maybe it's something everyone relates to. Horton's mantra is "a person's a person, no matter how small," but I feel like there are a lot of other meanings to be garnered from the story, and maybe this is one of them. Maybe the movie is about our desire to be heard. Afterall, everyone wants to be heard, wants to be noticed, wants to be known.

As humans, we shout, "I am here! Someone notice me! Don't let me fall, don't let me die! I am here!"

I wonder what would happen, if in unison, we all shouted together, "We are here!"

Would God hear us cry?


Love and peace,
Aemilius

(x-posted at facebook)

June 15 is the birthday of a very special figure in my life.

If you know me well enough, or if you're a follower of my art or writing, then you're sure to know who Nihon Houkama/Harris is.

On March 30, 2001, a cartoon called "Invader Zim" premiered on Nickelodeon. I won't deny that it changed my life forever in the way that it introduced me to some of my best friends, broadened my taste in fiction, and intensely altered my creative journey as an artist and writer. The summer following the premiere of the show, I began roleplaying on a message board called Convetina. It was there that I first created the character of Nihon, whom I shared in joint-roleplay for many months with my good friend Rae.

I was going through a very difficult time in my life, when my self-esteem and self-image were at a disastrous low. But I drew more art at that time in my life probably than any time since then. Nihon, as a character, as my inner-child, even as an imaginary friend of sorts, saw me through school and through many a troubled time. Nihon has continued to be of utmost importance in my life, and I thank God for having given me such a precious creative gift.

He's changed over the years, settled into a sweet and childish persona, fell in love, became human. I've created many other characters for which I've written and drawn over the years, but Nihon remains the most precious of them, for his countless reminders of what it means to love selflessly and appreciate beauty in all things.

There used to be a time in my life when anyone who knew me knew who Nihon was, because he was so prominent in my life and such a part of me. I still feel that my close friends ought to know about this little boy who has changed my life in such an unusual way. Nihon is as real to me as anyone. I love him like a dear friend, and I want my friends to understand that.

Though I do not know the exact date I created him, I do know that it was early summer in 2001. I chose June 15 because '5' has always been my lucky number and because Nihon was originally developed (and remains still, like a cartoon character) to be fifteen years old.

So, on June 15...I want to remember someone very special in my life: my little red-headed firefball, Nihon.



Thanks, kid...for 8 long years, and many more to come.


Love and peace,
Aemilius

Things that happened since I last posted...

- Visited Sandy
- Saw Pixar's 'UP'
- uhh, not much else

Seeing Sandy was great. It was nice just to hang out with her, altho I wish I could have spent more time really talking with her. I really respect her thoughts and advice. But, it seems you don't really get a chance for that when you're just visiting for a day or two...In any case, she showed me around her place (it's absolutely beautiful where she lives) and we watched TV and played games, made muffins, planted flowers...it was nice.

I saw 'UP' recently and was absolutely taken aback. I was thinking that after Wall-E, Pixar would never be able to come up with something else that would touch me so profoundly. I was wrong. I can't say UP tops Wall-E for me, but I certainly can say it came close and that Pixar is more than capable of making more amazing and touching films in the future. I cried a lot. I found the story heartbreakingly bittersweet and beautiful. I'd love to see it again...I really didn't expect as much as I got from the film. Well done, Pixar, yet again.

Lastly, I've been thinking about summer cosplay. I have pretty much no money right now so I figure it's not really going to happen. Ghetto cosplays I'd like to do...Shifu from Kung Fu Panda using an old unfinished Zuko costume and Gorgonzola from 'Chowder' because I love him. I'm sad that Chowder will most likely be ending...I'm going to miss it. It kind of renewed my interest in cartoons. But animation is a dying art, I guess...

In any case, I was searching for a picture of Gorgonzola in CH Greenblatt's blog and found this quote, which I liked for some reason:

"Sometimes someone hates you for no good reason. It's just that your very existence wrongs them. Gorgonzola hates Chowder. He's an apprentice candle holder. Maybe that's why he's so surly. He got the cruddy job while Chowder has a dream job."

I don't know why I'm drawn to grumpy failures. I just am.


Love and peace,
Aemilius

At the beginning of summer, I intended to start a piece of original fiction with the idea of a summer vacation to a beach house. I wanted to write an introduction, then follow it up with a series of short, episodic sketches featuring my characters, and some of those who belong to friends. It, unfortunately, took me this long to finish the introduction. But I am hoping to continue this series still, and will be uploading whatever I do here. I admit, this isn't my best, polished writing, but it's supposed to be fun.

This is for all my friends, but especially for Jamie, Patrick, and Whitney, who know these characters almost as well as I do.

Characters In This Episode: Seirith, Anidroth, Nihon, Helix, Amaya*, Tawny**, and Soushu**

All characters belong to me except those belonging to *ghostmuffin and **kiwikittyboy.

( Cuz they can't afford a hotel... )

And, good news for anyone (altho I doubt there are many, if any of you) who doesn't know these kids, I'll soon be finishing (I hope) a character map that should--in very brief terms--discuss how all these characters are related.

Until next time. <3


Love and peace,
Aemilius

Every now and again, I have intensely vivid dreams that actually carry a storyline I can somewhat follow. Jotting as much as I can make sense of this one so that I'll hopefully remember it, maybe figure something out from it.

The dream was about a woman who was being abused by her husband, a man rumored to have abused and killed former lovers (that comes from The Illusionist, which I watched yesterday). She goes to the police for help, but they don't much believe her, and she goes back to her fearful existence. Eventually though, the man makes an attempt on her life and she goes to the police again, more desperately, and they decide to investigate, halfheartedly.

I swap roles throughout the dream, sometimes myself, sometimes Nihon, and I am a friend of the woman who is attempting to prove with hard evidence that the man tried to murder her and has killed other women. I know somewhere is a record of some sort of these past murders, as well as the attempted one, I am digging throughout this man's huge house attempting to find it. There are others with me, altho I only remember one really, who was played by Jack Black and wore a headband (stolen from Planetes) and spent a lot of time loafing about in the stables in back of this man's house. (There was also a fellow with a beak like the people in Wind Waker, but I hardly remember him). The stables were empty of horses, but were inhabited by many deer and other wild creatures who had taken up residence there with him.

The house is large, old, and I THINK burned. Perhaps the man's attempt on the woman's life was arson? I seem to remember everything seeming very black, unstable, crumbling. But I and these other fellows with me are digging through the whole house, eventually, I discover whatever record this is in the attic (a place that requires me to climb a ladder to get to). The police rush in to grab this man (who is apparently just chilling out somewhere in the background of this dream) but he grabs the woman and puts his arm around her throat. As it turns out, however this is possible, the man is actually a woman. Who had a sex change, or was just very very good at hiding certain things. He/she admits to everything, but in his/her sick way of thinking, invites the woman to come back to him/her anyway, that things will be different. She denies him/her loudly, he/she releases the woman, and the cops rush in and grab said nutcase.

The end of the dream then played out completely weird and different. The woman who had been shy, afraid, and timid the entire time is suddenly portrayed as proud and assertive. We see her living in a large estate now, years later. Nihon is a suitor (no longer me, I am now in third person, watching the dream), who appears at the gate of her home, requesting to see her. She turns him down, and then like some weird anime closing, some music stares to play and we see her in the estate, calling her children. Suddenly we see these bunch of children of hers running out of their rooms and down the stairs. They all...look like different members of the party who tried to prove the bad man's guilt. Some have little beaks, some look like Jack Black and wear headbands, but all of them resemble different members, so...apparently with her newfound freedom, she started sleeping around. In between showing these kids, the visual switches to a man's face who is shown with the different characteristics of the men that the children have: the beak, headbands, one is goggles, something else I can't remember. And it ends with him grinning, it goes to black, the music stops, and I wake up.

Bizarre.

I also had a dream about moving into a new apartment with a girl who had a huge newfoundland dog and the bathroom lights didn't work. That dream was far less interesting.


Love and peace,
Aemilius

Now that I'm a few episodes in, I feel like I can speak...FullMetal Alchemist was an is my favorite anime. But I gotta be honest. I'm really not enjoying Brotherhood. I'd drop it except that I feel like I should watch it for conversation sake. But it's just not doing anything for me.

Thus far, I feel like I'm just rewatching the original series with less appealing art and more shallow characterizations. I could just back off and pick it up again when the story branches off (*coughlikeididwiththemangacough*), but that can be difficult to do if they stick in some small differences along the way.

Oh well...


Love and peace,
Aemilius

Some new OC art for ya'll.

( I wish I could get on another big art kick. )

Now back to spring cleaning...whoosh.


Love and peace,
Aemilius

So, while doing spring cleaning, I discovered about...10 nasty old scratched up CDs in my room. I somehow managed to clean, repair, and rip them to my computer. So now I can spend hours jamming to Smash Mouth, Barenaked Ladies, Vanessa Carlton, Goo Goo Dolls and tons of other random stuff I grew up on.

Whoosh.


Love and peace,
Aemilius

More or less. Which means I'm no longer writing papers, which means I have some creative juices flowing again. I started my first fiction project of the summer, one which involves my main cast of characters as well as some cameos by those belonging to friends. The concept I picked up from a scene of "Kung Fu Panda". It should be a fun, relaxing, summer-themed piece that I'll be working on for the next week and hopefully finishing early on.

Unfortunately, my dad gave me his cold. So, we'll see.


Love and peace,
Aemilius

I suddenly realize how much people around me have changed.


Love and peace,
Aemilius

Not sure how many Kung Fu Panda fans are on my f-list, but...I love this movie. ^^;; Was watching it (again) and thought I ought to make icons of the most kick-butt little red panda that ever lived.

1	2	3
4	5	6
7	8

Enjoy!


Love and peace,
Aemilius